Week 59 - Great Bend, Kansas

 Hello everyone! Well I wish I could say this has been an eventful week, but really it hasn't. Mainly because my companion has been sick since Tuesday, and she is still sick. Ah! It is a virus I guess and her immune system isn't the best so it is just one of those things you have to wait out. So basically that means we have been in our apartment a lot- we have done mostly half days. I feel bad for her because I know she feels like junk, but it is also hard to have to sit inside all day when you are used to being out and doing things all the time! Usually if your roommate or whatever is sick it isn't that big of a deal, you just kind of make them soup and talk to them a little and leave them alone to get better. But when you are their companion, you are where they are! This week I have done things like clean out entire junk room (room of stuff missionaries have left behind), washed lots of clothes and sheets people have left here, figured out when we can get our car fixed (not until next month), read lots of Ensigns, studied a lot, taken naps (bad idea when you don't do anything all day), and overall just have tried to be productive with all the time I have had. It is funny because before my mission I was usually pretty content to just sit at home and do what I wanted all the time. I would go and hang out with people, but I didn't really see the need to always be doing something and moving and accomplishing things. Now, I think I have changed a little! I am actually kind of grateful for this time because it has shown me that I really do like being a missionary! I would much rather be out teaching people and helping them make changes than sitting around and doing nothing. Of course, there has to be a balance, but just sitting around all the time and not doing anything for anyone else just makes you lonely and depressed. Just saying. I am glad I have learned this lesson! Hopefully I will remember this when I get home and get stressed and tired from school and work and life.

In other news, Zone Conference is tomorrow! Zone Conference is the best thing ever. They just recently changed it so that we only have it every other transfer instead of every transfer, so I have been waiting. And it will be fun because we are going to spend the night in Wichita (where the conference is) with some members, and there will be about 6 of us sisters staying there. Party! I am excited to be around other missionaries for an extended amount of time. This zone conference is going to be focused on finding new people to teach, so I am excited because you can always use new ideas!

We did get some work done this week though. We didn't see too many of our investigators, but we saw Morris and that was really good! He is so funny. The first time we ever taught him we brought a member with us, and her and Morris both have birthdays this week. He promised that he would come to church by their birthdays. I casually reminded him of this promise this week (because he still hasn't come to church) and that seemed to kind of get him, so I was hoping he would come this week. He didn't. That little stinker.  But that's ok, now I get to guilt trip him into coming! Maybe this week, it is Stake Conference in Salina. That would be cool. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get people to keep commitments. :)

I have learned a lot this week about charity and hope and endurance. Like I said, I've had some extra time to study and that has been really good. I was studying the christlike attribute section in Preach My Gospel about charity. Seriously, sometimes it's right when you think you have improved in some way (like your charity has increased) Heavenly Father just sends you some opportunities to prove it I guess. I was reading and it was good, but I wasn't getting too much out of it. I was kind of distracted. I was reading all the scripture references that it gave and finally when I got to the last one something stuck out to me. In 1 Peter 4:8 it says: "And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins." At first I really liked that it said "fervent charity." I guess usually the only time we use the word fervent in relation to gospel things is prayer, meaning really focused, and meaningful I guess. You know if you are saying a fervent prayer you really mean it and you are open to listen and act. I guess we could think of fervent charity the same way- we really have to make a concentrated effort to get there. Then, I read the footnote which had a JST for the verse. Instead of "for charity shall cover the multitude of sins," it said "for charity preventeth a multitude of sins." Wow! That hit me like a load of bricks. I thought about people that I do not feel charity or even any amount of love toward. How do I feel about them? Usually I judge them, I don't really care to talk to them, I kind of see myself as better than them. Those things are not good! I guess then those could be considered sins. So to me what this scripture taught me what that not only is charity a prerequisite to have eternal life (kind of a big deal), but when we work to have it, it works as a protection from other sin. That is so cool! I guess I really needed to learn that this week. Still working on it, still not always succeeding, but I guess if I get a little better each day or each week I am learning.

One other good experience I had this week. We were eating dinner with one of our members- the sweetest little old lady in the world. She has had some crazy things happen this month- her son and his family who were living with her and helping out with rent and expenses and stuff decided to move out and take basically everything with them. So she was left with her house, clothes, bed and sheets and stuff, and not really much else. The ward really stepped in and took care of her. She was telling us about how her whole life she has been self-sufficient and worked for everything she got. She didn't ever take anyone's charity, and tried to give to people if they needed things. But now her circumstances have changed. She is retired and has health problems that prevent her from really working, but even then there aren't really a lot of jobs around at all. For once she can't just go out and do it herself and earn what she needs. The members of the ward have given her a lot of things to use that she considers just loans. I was just really touched by her and hearing how humble she is about all of this. She pays her tithing, she fulfills her calling, she does her visiting teaching, even though for her it is really hard and sometimes seems impossible. She said one of the first things she wanted to do after her son moved out was to feed the missionaries, because now she can without imposing on anyone else. I listened to this and almost just started crying! She is so cute. We read her the story that President Faust used in his talk in conference a few years ago: http://new.lds.org/ensign/2001/11/the-atonement-our-greatest-hope?lang=eng. It is the story about a little classroom where there is a small boy that steals the lunch of "Big Tom." The rules in the classroom say that if you break a rule, you get a beating. But when the teacher makes the little boy take off his coat to get his beating he has no shirt on. Tom is so humbled by this that he decides to step in and take the beating for the little boy. Of course, President Faust relates this to Christ and how he has taken our sins and everything else upon himself. But something I realized as we were talking to her was that that is one of the roles of the church as well! Christ isn't standing here himself, sitting in an office in Salt Lake and figuring things out for us. But we have His church which is organized just the way he wants it. And it is set up so that the members in it can assist those in need. Not just monetary, but other kinds of service as well! It is really awesome how it is set up really. Everything we do in the church is supposed to be not about us. Missionary work, home teaching, teaching classes, service projects, etc.- it is all about serving those around us. I think Heavenly Father knows that we as humans are prone to do nothing if there isn't something organized for us. That is one reason we have the church! It is there so we can use it to help and teach and uplift those around us.

Anyway, this has been a pretty serious email but I have learned some good lessons this week. Thank you for all you do for me! I love you all.

-Sister Hafen